Lyrics: Didn't We Learn A Load Of Old Shit?

I heard somebody say
That the schoolchildren today
Cannot conjugate their German verbs
Well I've been to Germany
And as far as I can see
Johnny Deutschlander's no better, maybe worse
And I've also found the French
Can't recite pluperfect tense
And Ils ne sont pas too bothered about that
And these days it seems to me
GCSEs appear easy
Because 'O' levels taught us pointless useless crap

Didn't we learn a load of old shit?
The 'O' level was much harder 'cos there was no sense in it
Oh, didn't we learn a load of old shit?

I can build a 3 inch wooden box
It's not a skill I've used a lot
I can name four types of Glacial Moraine
I know what Gavrillo Princip did
The foreigh policies of Pitt
(the younger), Canning, Wellington and Castlereagh
And if it's the Zeider Zee
You want to know about the come to me
Cosines, sines and tangents, cosecs, secs
Bring me a shrimp and I'll describe
Its exoskeleton, but why
They thought I'd need to do that's anybody's guess

Didn't we learn a load of old shit?
The 'O' level was much harder 'cos there was no sense in it
Oh, didn't we learn a load of old shit?

The Old Sod within me says
I had to do it - so should they
Knowing full well I'd swap places if I could
Learning how Norwegians farm
It didn't do me any harm
But then again it didn't do me any good
We're bitter and jealous because
They get to have more fun than us
But there's one arena where we'll always win
They do not know obscure facts
Or dates of battles from the past
Can't quote from Shakespeare, or remember names of Kings

Whilst we all learnt a load of old shit
So we'll always be triumphant when it comes to the Pub Quiz
I guess that's why we learnt a load of old shit
Whoop-de doo for thirteen years of old shit