Lyrics: I'll Never Drink Again

To all the women that I've kissed
When I've been bloody pissed
All the men I've fought, all the beer I've bought
I'll give the lot a miss

I'll never drink again
Never in all my life
You can keep your beer, you can leave it there
I'll never drink again

No more will I shout
For bitter, mild or stout
From hereonin whisky, rum and gin
Red and white wine are all right out

Because I'll never drink again
No more nights before
I'll be lean and fit, no more feeling shit
Because I'll never drink again

Sundays will be great
Mornings wide awake
Put up lots of shelves, go to church as well
And buy a Black & Decker Bench Workmate

Because I'll never drink again
Not like I did last night
My head's in pain, my bowels aflame
I'll never drink again

Well, maybe once or twice
When the occasions right
At a family do I'll have one or two
But never more than nine

And a glass of wine with food
To refuse would appear too rude
And I'll only drink pints on a Saturday night
And in the week if I'm in the mood

To all the women that I've kissed
Let's go out and get pissed
Short or tall, I have loved you all
And it's you I'm going to miss

Because it's my belief
I'll give up next week
And then I'll never drink again.