Lyrics: It Only Works Because You're here

The phone rings nine times
Before he says 'Yes'
She's got a problem with Internet Explorer
And he's the Computer Desk
He waits and takes the lift to her floor and says
'Show me the problem then'
She's mildly mortified to find
That everything's working again
She flushes bright pink, which he thinks is wonderful
She feels like such a fool and so she says

It only works because you're here
Before you came it was broken
It only works because you're here
You've got my windows to open

Weeks pass and that's that
Until he gets in late one day
To see she's been and posted a
Post-It Note onto his screen that says
'Could you pop up when you've got a minute?'
He runs up five flights of stairs
To find her computer rebooting
And main site IT guy sat in her chair
He's red-faced and out of breath, which she thinks is wonderful
She knows he wanted to help her and so she says

It only works because you're here
Before you came it was broken
It only works because you're here
You've got my windows to open

So he pops in to see her when he's passing
And also when he's not
She's fairly sure that he feels something for her
But she can't say exactly what
He's nervous and he's shy
And that's part of the reason why
She likes him
But the vague chance of romance is not enough
Reason for her to stay
He can't believe it when he hears that she's leaving
From her whip-round wielding PA

There's not enough room on the card to fit
All the words that burn in his heart
She's leaving
It's horrible - he doesn't know what to do
Until at her leaving do he puts his hand to his heart and he says

It only works because you're here
Before you came it was broken
It only works because you're here
You've got my windows to open

She says 'Well you've left it a bit bloody late'
'So let's not waste time now - I think you're GRATE'
They kiss, crowd cheers
Main site IT guy goes home in a flood of tears