Lyrics: Mental Judo

I did a gig
At a venue that was slightly too big
For the six people who were there
Including the other band
As I said to them
We should cherish being here as friends
It isn't something that we will see again
Said the promoter
I said I do not care
If there's never anybody else there
I'm going to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't

Mental Judo
Let's enjoy for what it is
This way we can hang around and chat and get pissed
We might as well have some fun while we're alive
Mental Judo

For my birthday one year
Two of my friends took me out for a beer
They'd invited other people I knew
To come and meet me
I didn't mind
That hardly any of them arrived
But the other two spent the whole night
Going on about it
I said I do not care
If there's never anybody else there
I'm going to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't

Mental judo
This way a round'll be cheap
And we'll be sure that we all get a seat
When we go out dancing, 'cos we're going out dancing
Mental judo

Now I know this job
Is not exactly your dream job
But still, it pays the bills
And you can keep looking
And I know you'd like
To be accompanied in bed at night
You'd like to reach out and turn out the light
And find another human being
No, it's not fair
That's there's never anybody else there
But try to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't

Mental judo
Without responsibilities
Why not apply to colleges?
Why not jack it all in and do the something that you really want to do?
Mental judo

Go get a new career
Go drink cheap student beer
No mortgage, no boss
No stress no work - no loss and
On campus the chances
Of finding new romances
Are greater than they've been
On the shopfloor, and on the dancefloor
No, it's not fair
That there's never anybody else there
But try to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't

Mental judo
Stop yearning
Start learning
The only person stopping you from doing it is you so
Mental judo