Lyrics: Professional, Competent, Rocking and Tight

The local band lifestyle starts with a lad whose girlfriend tells him that he can sing
He meets a guitarist, they go and get pissed and then bond to the music of Queen
They then spend six months writing two rubbish songs then bump into a mate of a mate
Who says he plays drums and that one of his chums has always wanted to play the bass
They're professional competent rocking and tight
Committed with good attitude
They'll go a long way cos they really can play
At a pub on a Monday near you
They'll hire a rehearsal room and they'll get scared by the hairy bloke behind the desk
They'll have a crap name and learn to play Sweet Jane and think they are the best thing since sex
They'll play their first gig and go down really well cos they've packed it out with all their friends
They'll think it's the start of something really big when it's really the start of the end
The singer's girlfriend books them five times in a month
Their friends get bored and each night fewer of them come
The last straw is when the support band draw a massive crowd
Who leave before they take the stage cos there's a new band now who are
Now the bassist grows pony-tails and he regales his MU mates about Marshall gear
And the drummer still drums changing bands each twelve months though they seem to get younger each year
The guitarists a teacher who tries to impress each new class with tales of rock and roll
And the singer's still boring his kids with the story of the time before he was old, when he was
professional competent rocking and tight
Committed with good attitude
Thought they'd go a long way, but they just got to play
At a pub on a Monday near you