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Songs: The Massive Banker

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I used to be a wealthy man
Until one day I thought
How can I justify earning
A 100 times the norm?
I meditated on it and
Eventually realised
The only moral thing to do
Was to increase my size

So I grew up to 600 feet
And if you do the maths
You'll find that now my bank account
Is equal to my mass

Now I am a Massive Banker
I'm incredibly huge
I am a Massive Banker
I'm looking down on you

Of course I needed more cash now
Just to support myself
But I found that I could take it
From everybody else
And as you all got smaller
Well come on, what's a guy to do?
The income gap was changing
So I grew and grew and grew

But I found the bigger that I got
The tinier I felt
Money wasn't enough anymore
I wanted power as well

So being a Massive Banker
I bought all your MPs
And I grew a mile higher
When I purchased the police

Now I am so high up
That I can't see you down there
But you can see The Massive Banker
Everybloodywhere!

Oh I am a Massive Banker
I've never been so huge
I am a Massive Banker
And I'm here to stamp on you!



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Another GRATE SATIRE from "Total Hero Team". Originally this song was a verse or two longer, but I discovered that people get a bit bored if GRATE SATIRE goes on too long. Also originally it started with the chorus, but when I took that out I was AMAZED to find that there was suddenly a GIGANTIC LARF when I sang "I am a Massive Banker" after the first chorus.

Unlike the song before it in the show, people ALWAYS get this one, and pretty much ALWAYS laugh too!


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